New Findings Reveal Shifts in Dating Expectations, Gender Dynamics, Sexual Behavior and the Role of Technology in Modern Dating
DALLAS, June 10, 2025 -- Match, in partnership with researchers from The Kinsey Institute, today released its 14th annual Singles in America study, the nation's most comprehensive and longest-running annual study of single adults. This year's findings paint a vivid picture of modern dating, revealing a generation of singles who are embracing emotional depth, challenging outdated norms, and leaning into new tools, including artificial intelligence, to find love on their terms.
Since 2010, Singles in America has surveyed more than 75,000 people across the U.S., offering unmatched insight into how Americans date, desire, and connect. This year, the data captures some of the most profound shifts yet, from Gen X's sexual confidence to the rising role of sexual content, screens, and AI in modern romance. Takeaways amongst the themes include:
- Forty, flirty, and fired up. Singles in their 40s are in their sexual prime, with 73% frequently feeling turned on and more than 6 in 10 singles saying "vanilla sex" just doesn't cut it. And a striking 93% say sexual chemistry isn't optional — it's essential for a romantic relationship.
- Spicy content is still having its moment. 24% of Gen Z and 22% of single women say they're embracing erotic content and fan fiction. Porn remains popular and widely accessible, with 23% of Millennials watching several times a week. Nearly 4 in 10 (37%) singles say that watching porn has affected their sexual relationship expectations.
- Love at first sight is still the goal. 60% of singles believe in it — a remarkable 30% increase since 2014.
- The "Alpha" fixation is out. The traits most closely associated with healthy masculinity are kindness and empathy (34%) - and most women (79%) say they can spot toxic masculinity by the third date. Yet nearly 7 in 10 report a growing emotional divide between men and women.
- AI isn't going anywhere. A growing 26% of singles — a staggering 333% increase YoY — are using AI to enhance their dating lives.
"Today's singles are rejecting the one-size-fits-all approach to dating," said Dr. Justin Garcia, Chief Scientific Advisor to Match and Executive Director of the Kinsey Institute. "The human desire for love has not changed, but the ways in which single adults pursue and prioritize it are radically evolving. This year's Singles in America study shows that singles today are doubling down on finding relationships that feel authentic to them."
Gen X Steps Into Its Sexual Prime
The study reveals that singles in their 40s, who are often overlooked in conversations around sex, are, in fact, leading the charge when it comes to sexual desire and satisfaction. More than 70% of singles in their 40s report feeling frequently turned on, and nearly half are having sex at least once a month.
This age group is also more likely than their younger counterparts to reject cultural expectations around sex. They are leaning into sexual compatibility and emotional connection, with 93% reporting that chemistry is a key factor in romantic relationships.
"By their 40s, many singles have outgrown the pressure to perform or conform," said Dr. Amanda Gesselman, Director of Sex and Relationship Science at Match. "They know what they like, and they're unapologetic about it. For them, sex isn't about experimentation, it's about refinement."
Nearly one-third of Gen Xers would even consider opening their relationships to other romantic or sexual partners, pointing to a growing confidence and curiosity in this life stage.
Smut, Screens, and Sexual Recalibration
While Gen X may be having great sex, Gen Z and single women in general are finding intimacy in unexpected places. The study found a notable rise in the consumption of erotic content and fan fiction, with nearly a quarter of Gen Z and 22% of single women turning to smut for emotional and sexual fulfillment.
Porn remains popular across generations, but attitudes toward it vary widely. Millennials and Gen Z are the most frequent viewers, with more than one in five in each group watching several times a week. Yet while porn can be a window into sexual curiosity or preferences, not everyone engages with it—over half of women (53%) say they never watch porn at all, compared to just 16% of men. Still, regardless of viewing habits, 90% of singles agree on one thing: sexual chemistry is essential. And most say they can tell if it's there or not by the third date.
"We're seeing a real shift toward self-sourced intimacy," said Dr. Gesselman. "Whether it's smut or AI-assisted profiles, singles are finding ways to explore desire on their own terms."
The Return of Romantic Idealism
Romance is back, and it's getting bolder. Belief in love at first sight has soared to 60%, up from just 34% in 2014. Seventy-three percent of singles still believe in forever love, and nearly seven in ten say they believe in destiny when it comes to relationships.
But even as expectations remain high, role models are harder to find. Thirty-nine percent of singles say they don't know anyone in their life who represents "relationship goals." And increasingly, people are looking to social media, not their inner circle, for cues on what modern love looks like.
"Reality TV and Instagram have made love feel more like a highlight reel than a lived experience," said Dr. Gesselman. "The pressure to find something picture-perfect can be paralyzing."
Emotional Mismatch
This year's data also points to a deepening emotional divide between men and women. Seventy percent of singles report that men and women increasingly misunderstand each other when it comes to dating, and many say harmful stereotypes are to blame.
A third of single men say women assume they're only interested in sex. One in four feel unfairly labeled as commitment-phobic. Meanwhile, women say they're often seen as seeking a provider rather than a partner, and many feel mischaracterized as preferring casual hookups over meaningful connection.
Nearly half of singles (47%) report feeling burned out by dating, while 54% say the modern dating landscape leaves them drained. Yet many are taking intentional steps to reset: 46% have taken breaks from dating to recharge, and two-thirds say those pauses helped clarify what they want.
"Single adults have ramped up their expectations when seeking dates, wanting potential partners to be an instant best friend, lover, therapist, and travel buddy all in one. While having such high demands can sound empowering, in actuality they can become overwhelming," said Dr. Garcia. "Meaningful connections come in many forms, and almost all take focused time to cultivate."
Masculinity, Rewritten
This year, the "alpha male" persona appears to be losing ground. Instead, kindness and empathy ranked as the top traits associated with healthy masculinity, followed closely by emotional openness and humility.
Interestingly, men raised by single parents were more likely to view themselves as modeling healthy masculinity than those from two-parent homes — challenging assumptions about the role of traditional family structures.
"There's a disconnect between the way many people define masculinity, and how men and people who date men want them to show up in relationships," said Dr. Garcia. "Kindness and empathy are universally desired traits when it comes to finding a romantic partner, and this year they rose even higher up the rankings. Emotional depth, among both men and women, is incredibly valuable as singles search for someone they can reliably weather the storms of life with."
AI Joins the Dating Game
In perhaps the most dramatic shift, the study found that AI is now a major player in modern dating. Use of AI among singles has jumped 333% in just one year as people turn to technology to help improve their odds of finding love.
Nearly half of Gen Z singles have already used AI in their dating life, whether to build better profiles, craft stronger openers, or screen for compatibility. Looking ahead, 44% of all singles say they'd like AI to help filter matches, and 40% want help crafting the perfect dating profile.
"AI isn't replacing intimacy, it's giving singles an edge," said Dr. Gesselman. "For a generation overwhelmed by options, tools that bring clarity and efficiency are more than welcome."
For additional data, insights, and demographic breakdowns, visit www.singlesinamerica.com
About Singles in America
Funded by Match and conducted in association with The Kinsey Institute, with data collected by Dynata, the 14th annual Singles in America study surveyed a demographically representative sample of 5,001 U.S. singles between the ages of 18 and 98. It remains the most robust scientific study of single Americans, with generational breakouts for Gen Z (18–27), Millennials (28–43), Gen X (44–59), and Boomers (60+).
This year's study is dedicated to the memory of Dr. Helen Fisher, Match's longtime Chief Scientific Advisor and co-author of Singles in America for 13 years. A pioneer in the science of romantic love, her legacy lives on through the ongoing exploration of how we connect, desire, and relate.
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