Parenting in the Age of Social Media and AI: Young People Say That Strong Relationships Matter Most
When young people share what shapes their online lives, they talk less about app settings and screen-time limits, but instead more about the relationships they have with their parents. This insight is a focus of a new…
New research from Hopelab and the Center for Digital Thriving shares four insights from young people on how families can navigate technology together
SAN FRANCISCO, Oct. 29, 2026 /PRNewswire/ -- When young people share what shapes their online lives, they talk less about app settings and screen-time limits, but instead more about the relationships they have with their parents. This insight is a focus of a new research brief from Hopelab in collaboration with the Center for Digital Thriving at Harvard Graduate School of Education, titled Lessons From the Field: Young People Share Four Tips for Parents on Online Safety and Well-being.
The brief arrives as parents continue to face growing concerns about the effects of social media, technology, and the layered complexities brought forth by Generative AI use among the young people in their lives. In 2024, the U.S. Surgeon General declared parental stress an urgent public health concern and named social media and technology as top pressures. Researchers from Hopelab and the Center for Digital Thriving interviewed 11 teens and young adults aged 14 to 22, and held four focus groups with 19 high school students across the U.S. (oversampling for LGBTQ+ young people and young people of color) to understand what helps them safely navigate online spaces and the role they want their parents to play in keeping them safe online.
"Parents are overwhelmed with advice about young people and technology," said Emma Bruehlman-Senecal, Principal Researcher at Hopelab. "But almost none of the advice they're hearing starts by asking teens what actually helps. Young people told us that when parents act as a digital coach rather than a digital police officer, they build skills needed to stay safer online, and their relationships with their parents get stronger."
Key Findings
Young people want parents to understand that their online connections matter. Tech-related conflicts between parents and young people often center on their fear of missing out on time with friends. "I feel like they don't understand how crucial social media and stuff like that can be to a teenager," said a white teen boy. When parents policed their children's posts, some young people said they often hid their online lives, even if they were exposed to harmful or hurtful content.
A fear of punishment keeps young people silent. Young people said they hid online risks, driven by an expectation of punishment. One Black young woman described "crying, sobbing because I thought I was in trouble" when her mother discovered her secret account. Her mother's calm response surprised her. Another participant never told anyone about an unsafe online relationship with an adult that began in fifth grade.
Creating rules together builds respect. Several young people expressed understanding or even gratitude for guardrails around technology use. These were especially related to rules or guidelines that protected sleep or made room for friends and creativity. When teens and parents created rules together, they were built around respect and understanding for each other.
Parents' tech habits serve as a model for their children's. Young people said their parents' tech use shaped their own, for better and worse. One young adult said a lack of healthy boundaries at home left "no real role model to follow." Another young woman said her mother now responds to requests for advice by telling her to ask an AI chatbot before asking her.
The research brief recommends an approach built on three priorities:
Collaboration: inviting teens to help shape family tech agreements that adults follow, too.
Communication: making regular, low-pressure conversations about online life a habit, with clear assurance that teens won't be punished for asking for help.
Community: schools, PTAs, and counselors helping families set shared norms so no parent has to go it alone.
The full brief, including resources for parents, is available at https://hopelab.org/stories/lessonsfromthefield-parenting-tips/
About Hopelab
Hopelab envisions a future where young people have equitable opportunities to live joyful and purposeful lives. As a researcher, investor, and convener, Hopelab is dedicated to fostering greater mental health and well-being outcomes for Brown, Black, and Queer young people. Learn more at hopelab.org and follow us on LinkedIn at linkedin.com/in/hopelab.
About the Center for Digital Thriving
The Center for Digital Thriving is a research and innovation center based at Project Zero at Harvard Graduate School of Education. Its mission is to create knowledge and research-based resources that help youth thrive in a tech-filled world, with educators as essential partners in that work. Learn more at digitalthriving.gse.harvard.edu.
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